People with attachment troubles or other child trauma often ask: why is dating so difficult? It is, for a reason.
So instead of the dating hunt, I invested my life, fortune, and sacred honor to work for “earned secure attachment.” Dr. Dan Siegel says that’s when we start out with attachment damage from childhood trauma, but grow into secure attachment by earning it as adults. “It’s possible to change childhood attachment patterns,” as Dr. Mary Main says in a 2010 video.1
My plan: “become the change you seek,” as Ghandi said — and then a good-hearted mate will find me. Either way, eventually I’ll have peace in my soul.
Look, Ma, no hunting or begging – for once in my life! I’ve been begging since birth for a scrap of love like Oliver with his begging bowl, and I’m done. Dating website emails go to my spam folder.
I know it’s possible to earn secure attachment, even for those with Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) like me who’ve had developmental trauma “since the sperm hit the egg” and thus the world’s worst case of anxious attachment.Read More
Dr. Dan Siegel kicked off the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine’s invaluable 2015 “New Brain Series” of weekly webinars April 8. The series continues through May, and you can catch Dr. Pat Odgen on “Why the Body Matters When Working with Brain Science,” Wednesday, May 6 at 5:00 pm Eastern, rebroadcast at 6:30pm Eastern. Sign up to watch free at time of broadcast. Dr. Ogden speaks about Body Work and Somatic Healing. It’s about how to change the brain to heal trauma. Schedule and speakers list for all six weeks is below; videos, mp3s and transcripts of all speakers in April and May will stay available for purchase.Read More